Rat Realm.
Journal Entry: Sat Dec 2, 2006, 10:08 PM
- Mood:
Fear - Listening to: Spoon - Kill The Moonlight.
- Reading: How We Are Hungry - Dave Eggers.
- Watching: Little Miss Sunshine.
- Playing: GoW, TLoZ:TP
- Eating: Everything Bagel
- Drinking: Water
Well, my loyal readership, it has been many moons since my last transmission.
But much has been happening in the world of Jordan.
And by much, I mean absolutely nothing!
Actually, there have been some rather worrying developments within the last couple of days.
I have a rat.
And you might ask yourself, is this a pet rat? Did you purchase him at a local pet shop?
And I would say, No!
Anyway, enough of hypothetical conversations, lets just get to what’s happening in the realm of rattery!
So a couple nights ago I hear this scuttling about in my ceiling and I tell the proper authorities (mom and dad) and they tell me that its just the pipes, they are cold and when the hot water runs through them, they expand, squeak, run haphazardly around the ceiling, stop, start running again, and gain the ability to carry the plague.
Now, if you know me, you know I’m pretty tough, and if you don’t, let’s just say that I’ve been in my fair share of tussles. But don’t judge me when I tell you that a rat has the ability to bring me to the verge of almost gleeful terror. You know when you get so tense that you just start to laugh at nothing, like a fucking maniac?
It’s like, oh shit; did he breach one of the walls yet?
*scuttle scuttle*
HAHAHA fuckers still up there, oh shit, what if he comes while I’m asleep and bites me and what if he’s carrying rabies, or the hanta virus, or even the T-virus!
I can just picture that little fucker getting all up in my stuff, playing my 360, fuckin up my rubicks cube, unsealing limited edition toys. And to him, nothing is better. But as soon as I put my head up to see where the fuckers at, he’s gone, back up into the ceiling, and there isn’t a sign of him anywhere, so I guess he’s using a dark portal or something. I kid you not when I say, this rat knows magicks.
Now that we’ve established that he’s obviously a special rat, like Scabbers...or, well, that’s the only one I know of; Lets move on to his fucking “scuttle”.
Understand that this is a ceiling, not exactly roomy or anything, all studs, insulation and pipes. This fucker can cook it! He’s like the fucking Flash! Everywhere at once, knowing everything, peering into my mind and shit.
Ugh, well, yeah, I’m gonna kill this fucker. Not with my bare hands though. That shit be unsanitary.
I swear to you, I will cast this darkness back from whence it came.
The 9th circle of hell, obviously.
I’ve been playing some videogames, you guys.
Yeah, a non sequitur but it’ll do.
I’ve been playing a lot of Gears of War, or GoW, also I bought a fuckin’ Wii. That shit’s hot. Been loggin some time on The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, or, TLoZ: TP. It’s really good, I must say, 24 hours in and the end is still a way off in the distance.
Let’s get to something that I crave, and that I know you crave as well.
Words.
Non-sequitur: a statement (as a response) that does not follow logically from or is not clearly related to anything previously said
Skein: a loosely coiled length of thread or yarn wound on a reel
Acquiesce: to accept, comply, or submit tacitly or passively.
Akimbo: having the hand on the hip and the elbow turned outward
Trawl: to make a search.
That’s it homies, keep it real.
Oh, yeah, maybe some more photography soon.
Wait with bated breath.
Devious Comments
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Xander: It's called a blaster, Willow. A word that tends to discourage experimentation. Now, if it were called the Orgasmator, I'd be the first to try your basic button press approach
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i hope you like text.
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Xander: It's called a blaster, Willow. A word that tends to discourage experimentation. Now, if it were called the Orgasmator, I'd be the first to try your basic button press approach
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i hope you like text.
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Life is the lint that sticks between your toes. Those are the profound words of tomarrow. I should be a poet!
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You know lad, that love business is a powerful thing.
Greater than gravity?
Well, yes boy, in its way, yes Id say its the greatest force on earth.
-Merlin and Arthur, The Sword in the Stone
i like chocolate milk...
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God never gives us more than we can handle...
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the future freaks me out
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i hope you like text.
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Your Skin, So Wet, Black Lace on Sweat...
Photography is my passion, if you were wondering.
Oh, also. Woot. Phohtohgraphs. U R liek rly talented LOL. OMG OMG les be frendz plz!!1!
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"If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf."
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i hope you like text.
baha
i put up a couple new ones =]
thank you very much.
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i hope you like text.
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i hope you like text.
I don't know where that came from haha...
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God never gives us more than we can handle...
but i do love my camera. you should get one, we can start a club or something.
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i hope you like text.
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God never gives us more than we can handle...
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